Dear New Mumma,
Earlier that day, you were elated at seeing your beautiful baby during your 20 week ultrasound, he was the most gorgeous little boy. His older sisters sat in awe watching him. Now as you sit in the obstetricians office he tells you they think there is something wrong with your baby! He needs you to go and have an urgent ultrasound to confirm what they think! He tells you there is a huge risk of miscarriage but doesn’t tell you that you have a choice not to do it. All the elation from earlier is replaced with fear, worry and sadness. What is so wrong with this gorgeous little boy kicking away and how could you survive if you lost him! The amino was the most horrible thing you had to endure. Fortunately neither you or your little boy moved and the procedure was deemed a success. The next couple of days you are stressed. You get some cramping but luckily your little boy was not giving up. A couple of days later you get a call from your doctor. You can tell by the tone of his voice that it is not good news. He tells you to come down immediately to his office. As you sit there with your husband you can already feel the tears coming (they hadn’t stopped coming since that last visit in his office). He clears his throat and tells us our little boy has trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome)! He proceeds to tell us there is a range, spectrum per say as to the difficulty’s he will face in life if we were to continue and bring him into the world. All the health issues, all the things he wouldn’t be able to do, the burden he would be on our family and the strain it would put on our relationship that would most likely end in divorce. He said most kids either don’t leave home or end up in a home and will need constant care for the rest of their life. He said he has booked me in for a termination in 2 weeks time as after that we could not terminate. You sit there with tears freely flowing while your little one is wriggling and kicking inside. I told him no matter what I am not terminating my little boys life. You loved this boy right from the time you found out with shock that you were pregnant. If your little boy had the strength to make it to birth then you would love and care for him no matter what. Your husbands reaction and support however was not the same. The fear had been dealt and the unknowns was too much. He dreaded your little boys arrival. Fast forward 3 years and I want you to know. Your little boy is Amazing! He is the strongest, loving, courageous, caring, intuitive, fun and happy little warrior you could ever know. He has come in leaps and bounds, astounds and defeats all the odds the medical profession puts on him and will not let anything hold him back. He is resilient and determined to learn and achieve and boy is he ever so smart. He lights up everyone’s world. He wakes up ready with a smile, a kiss and a cuddle and does the same when he goes to bed. He is there for you during your times of grief, loneliness, sadness and joy! He will laugh hysterically with you, cry with you and hug you. He is the one that everyone gravitates to and makes everything right. He is the bond and strength of your family. Yes, do not worry about your husband. The minute he lays eyes on his beautiful son, all his fears are gone. They will become the best of friends and share the most amazing love and bond. He will become your greatest teacher. He will teach you all about love, he will teach you how to appreciate the simple things in life. To slow down, celebrate all the little and big wins. To laugh and have fun in each day. To look for the positives in each day. To take joy in the sun, the grass, trees, rain, flowers and animals. He will teach you to dance, be silly and sing. He will teach you the value of family and beautiful friends and to let of those when needed. There will be some incredibly though times too, that you will both endure, but know they are only a season and they pass. You will both give each other the love and strength to get through each day. These tough times make the good ones so much sweeter. He will show you that you have far more strength, courage, faith and resilience than you could ever imagine existed. Lastly, I want you to know, this little boy will be your saviour. He will heal you, mould you and shape you. Unlike what the doctor told you. It is you who are lucky and blessed to have this incredible little human in your life. You do not hold any grudges to the man who told you to terminate. He is a loving and caring man but did not know how that extra little chromosome make you an extra special little person that we need in our lives. Do not stress about what the future will bring, what your little boy will or won’t achieve. He will achieve and be anything he wants to be, all he needs is the love and support of his family Joshua Riley, you are my heart 💗
Written by Melanie,
Ambassador Joshua's Mum
