Hey you,
You did it! After a seemingly endless uneasy labour she is here, safe and sound sleeping sweetly in your arms unaware of all the fuss being made around her. The enduring discussions with nurses and doctors, the silent and the loud messy tears and the deafening noise inside your brain as you try to process everything. Moments ago, you had your first of many meetings with your paediatrician, one of the first people to congratulate you on your beautiful, already heart stealing, smiling little girl; he was also the first to talk with you and Lindsay about Cassie having Down Syndrome.
I still remember trying to process everything everyone was telling me, mixing with my own internal worries based on what I already knew about Down syndrome; starting more immediately with questions like “how is her heart? Will she need surgery, how long does the testing take? When will we be able to go home? By the time breakfast rolled around worrying about ages 1 through to high school and by lunch I was panicked about her leaving home and beyond.” A louder voice internally screaming the question “Am I enough?!” All the while trying to learn how to be a brand-new mum after a very long labour and not easy birth.
This letter is my wish, to reach back through time and quell the worries, embrace the tears and bequeath a gift; YOU ARE ENOUGH, Cassie is going to change your life upside down and sideways just like any child and will be beloved beyond imaging by her family, friends, school, therapists and community. She has opened so many adventures, challenged you to go beyond and pushes you to do more.
I won’t give you too many spoilers of life before you (some are too hard to bear) but you go home this Friday, after ultrasounds and tests reveal her heart beats perfectly and she has only ever had to take thyroxine. Cassie turns 6 this year, she shines brightly, her energy and will encompass every aspect of her life, and her determination is her greatest triumph as well as your constant bane. She can say I love you in two languages (English and Auslan), yes Mum too and boy can she run. She will leave your love of cheese in the dust, have you memorising more kids’ movies then you ever imagined, and you will dance along with a cartoon dog.
Every day she grows, keeps everyone on their toes and is the pride of her family, friends, and community. I still don’t know what the future holds from here, but I know we will take it, whatever path leads before us together, she is our guide, our light.
Keep holding on to her tightly enveloped with the love I know you both and everyone else is already surrounding her with, you have all got this.
Love always,
Written by Ellen,
Ambassador Cassie's Mum
