Dear Kylie,
Here you are at your 19 week morphology scan. The scan you were terrified about, because it was at that stage in your last pregnancy that you were told your baby had passed away. This time, they've told you that your baby is a boy, and they think he has Down syndrome. I know you're relieved in a lot of ways because at least your baby has a heartbeat, but there are still those concerns for his future.
Your initial thought is that your husband, who is 9 years younger than you, will be angry and blame you, thinking your "old" eggs had caused this to happen. His actual response will be to tell you how ridiculous you are being and that he is even more protective and excited now and can't wait to meet him. He will quickly claim naming rights, and call him Felix Sawyer. What you don't know today is, that 12 years later, they are best friends and you even get jealous sometimes because it feels like they prefer to hang out with each other than you 😂
You will cry, when he is only 2 weeks old that he may never father children. But guess what? By the time he is 12, he will have 9 nieces and nephews who adore him. His future is going to be full of babies and children who love him that he can cuddle and enjoy. He'll have the joy of children without the stress and sleepless nights, and there's no doubt he'll always be the favourite Uncle.
Your biggest fear is that he will be teased and other kids won't want to play with him. Let me tell you something. The kids he starts kindergarten with, will be his classmates for all of his school years. They will be fiercely protective of him and go out of their way to include him, even modifying their games to make it easier for him. At 12 years old, he will walk to school with a friend, completely unsupervised by adults, and that friend will take care of him and get him to school safely. He will do some modelling, have sleepovers, do hip hop classes, and plan to have his next birthday party at the pub.
What you don't know now is that your little baby will actually be a teacher. He will teach you so many lessons about patience, the importance of laughter, and unconditional love. He won't just teach you, but everyone around him. The world will become that little bit brighter because he is in it.
Put all your worries aside. Enjoy being pregnant with that unbelievably wriggly baby (just a heads up...he's going to be just as active on the outside), and get excited for the adventure you're about to embark on!
Sincerely, Your Future Self x
Written by Kylie,
Ambassador Felix's mum
